Life would be so much easier if it were not for people. They all try to conform to what is normal, but nobody knows what that is.

I believe normal is this: people are strange.

Many are often overly critical of others while giving themselves lots of leeway. Each one believes themselves to be the perfect driver, friend, partner, employee, the sanest, the smartest, and the best-adjusted, with the best insight and understanding in all things, while deeming others idiots.

We are not perfect. We might all be idiots in one way or another.

Most often, we are conceited, misinformed, overconfident ignoramuses with narrow worldviews rooted in generational bias and systemic idiocy. We do NOT want to become our parents, but we do, we just deny it. Whover said ‘nobody is perfect’ might have understated the situation a bit. We are all insecure, anxious, and sensitive about something, and we go into the world to mingle with others who are the same.

It is a recipe for disaster, yet somehow we manage to make it work by denying a lot and ignoring much more.

Many of us are incapable of critical thinking or even of original thought and latch onto some idea or group like a drowning man grabs his rescuer. For example, once we accept Jesus, we simply stop evolving. Now that we are saved, we can stop learning and adapting and just stomp through life fucking things up, knowing we are special and will be forgiven, and the ones we wrong are unclean infidels.

This only creates a thin barrier between us and reality, and sooner or later, the barrier corrodes and reality rushes in, finding us unprepared because we stopped adapting long ago. This makes religion a crutch, a patch, an inhibiting affliction.

One of the worst kinds of people is the one who gets a little exposure to life, giving them a narrow, specific experience that they then mindlessly extrapolate and apply everywhere. They become so convinced of their wisdom that they are incapable of seeing the damage they do. Instead of religion being the reason for their stagnation, some past trauma keeps them stranded.

However bad these few examples are, the real devils of society are those who seek to control others, almost to the point of ownership. Slavery is illegal, but these shits found a way to own others.

They will profess their love for someone while exerting non-stop pressure to change the object of their affection. In their minds, changing and molding you into something they find appealing and acceptable is love! Eventually, they rule the lives of their loved ones, effectively owning them by reducing them to slaves. They dictate how those they ‘love’ must dress, talk, walk, spend free time, and generally live.

This is not a partner or a friend, but a warden!

This is not love. It is a manifestation of their own insecurity and fear, and their inability to change themselves!

They simply cannot accept that life is unpredictable, and to have free-thinking minds in their tribe makes it impossible to avoid the randomness of existing. They have to make everyone conform to their idea of what is correct because this effort gives them a false sense of stability and a place where their broken selves can fit in.

They basically take the place of Jesus in their people’s lives. What they fail to see is that their people are turned into spineless losers who one day will revolt against the oppression, often violently, leading to the destruction of this carefully constructed world, making all the time spent in pain, tears, and conflict a total waste. Sadly, these bastards will just find someone else and try again.

I think the best way to live might be as a selfish asshole.

Let me explain.

Selfishness is described as “lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure”. I aim to do just that, but will replace “profit or pleasure” with “peace and happiness” and “lacking consideration” with a hard, honest, focused consideration.

This changes the nature of being selfish. This flavor of selfishness is required to reinforce this universal truth: “You belong to yourself, and nobody belongs to you!”

With this in mind, we need to be considerate beyond measure! We must question everything we allow, or disallow, into our lives. Since we all suffer from some level of self-delusion, this requires deep and discerning questioning.

Here are some questions to ponder. There must be more questions to ask, but these are core and could potentially lead to others.

Does this person, thing, or activity promise immediate benefit to my quest for “peace and happiness”?

Will this person, thing, or activity ensure continuous future benefit to my quest for “peace and happiness”?

Does this person, thing, or activity pose a threat, either immediate or eventual, to my quest for “peace and happiness”?

Does this person, thing, or activity impede my personal freedom? Physical, psychological, financial, spiritual, or mental?

If the answer to any of these questions is not what you need to stay yourself wholly, be the asshole and walk away. Be absolutely ruthless and unwavering in this resolve. Walk away from jobs, family, property, hobbies, friends, and organizations. Do not give second chances, do not give quarter. Never use others, or allow others to use you.

This sounds awful, I know.

I do believe that once this disposition defines you, and you have severed many toxic bonds, you will find a center, a nirvana of sorts, where you realize you are enough. This is only possible when you know you do not need others to be peaceful, and you understand that you must remove those who need you to manage their own lives from your life.

You are nobody’s priest, counselor, property, or responsibility! If someone needs this in their lives, they can see a real priest or another professional. These people will then relate to them in much the same way I described my ideal disposition; they will help, but in an autonomous manner while maintaining their identity.

Now that you are emotionally independent and free, you are ready to be the best friend, lover, partner, or companion anyone can ask for. They must know the score; they must be told upfront who you are. Time is too precious to waste. Emotion should not be absent in relationships, but it should be kept in check and always be subject to reason. Not doing this is unreasonable and requires being the asshole.

This might enable you to become an individual who does not need society’s approval to feel accomplished. You must become someone who refuses to validate others and never seeks validation yourself; validation must become a personal responsibility.

Imagine you achieve this level of being, and then find someone like you who can exist independently and who is willing to share life with you. It must be heaven to be with someone who encourages you to be yourself and who does not require you to validate them. In such a relationship, hard truths can be discussed without fear, allowing real growth in mind, body, and soul.

Is such a thing even possible?

I don’t know, I am still stuck at step one, being myself without needing the approval of others.

There is still time.