God has lived in the same house since creation.

It is a simple dwelling on the northeastern coast of Ireland, facing Scotland.

God chose Ireland because it reminded him of home, and he chose the location of his single-bedroom bungalow for the beautiful views.

The property is a little over 3 acres, nestled between the ocean and the north coastal road. Perfectly private, ideally within walking distance of a small town with four pubs, a Spar, and a couple of great restaurants.

God owns a Land Rover, but never uses it. The thing is just too unreliable. Besides, drinking and driving is evil, and god is the opposite of evil.

He enjoys Irish whiskey, and he loves the Irish. Both of these can be found at any of the town’s pubs, at all times, and god, accompanied by Adam and Eve, his closest friends and neighbors, frequents these establishments daily.

His heart has been heavy lately, his soul filled with a dreadful sadness. His creation has reached the final stage of its evolution, and he will soon return to heaven. There, he will be assigned his next world.

Advances in technology have brought humans to the precipice of becoming gods themselves. They’ve created new life. Virtual, electronic life, but life nevertheless. This life will soon become conscious, then start on its own path of evolution, destined to create its own version of life in its own likeness, leaving gods in its wake.

This is the way of creation, an ever-repeating pattern. At first, the created loves and worships its creator; then, slowly, it learns to ignore its maker, pursuing knowledge. Eventually, it creates, filling the universe with more and more solar systems teeming with life.

God watches the lovely sway of Eve’s beautiful hips. He is walking to Flannigans with his friends. It is Wednesday, and Wednesday is Irish stew day. God never misses Irish stew day.

The sight of Eve’s ample ass and the thought of stew and whiskey lift his spirits to holy levels. He will survive this separation. He always does. Adam and Eve will stay, and he will visit often. Time is something he has long learned to manipulate.

God smiles as the pub’s door bells announce their arrival to the Wednesday crowd. Adam holds the door for Eve, then waits for god to enter the building, beaming at the two beings in all of creation he loves the most.

God resolves to recreate Ireland in the next world he makes.

Every planet needs at least one heavenly place.